Very Funny

REFLECTIONS OF AN OLD PILOT 

* Pilots are people who drive airplanes for other people who can't.
 

* Passengers are people who say they fly, but really just ride.

* Fighter Pilots are steely eyed, weapons systems managers who kill bad people and break things. However, they can also be very charming and personable. The average fighter pilot, despite sometimes having a swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring. (However, these feelings don't involve anyone else.)

* Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.

* Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist

invents the airplane; the pessimist, the parachute.

* Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed.

* As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you (and one of them will):

a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft, knowing it is your last flight.
b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft, NOT knowing it is your last flight.

* There are rules and there are laws:
* The rules are made by men who think that they know how to fly your airplane better than you.
* The laws (of physics) were ordained by God.

* You can and sometimes should suspend the rules, but you can never suspend the laws.

* About Rules:
a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the talent to execute it.
b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance (e.g., if you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.)

* Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks are full.

* He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he who demands one iota more is a fool.

* "If the Wright brothers were alive today, Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs." (a quote by a former President of Delta Airlines.)

* An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex was safe.

*There are bold pilots and old pilots, but very few old bold pilots.

* Airlines have really changed; now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.

* I've flown in both pilot seats. Can someone tell me why the other seat is always occupied by an idiot?

* And my favorite; You have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot. You can't do both.